Why do we run away from pain?
A scientific perspective
We often think that people run away from pain because they are weak. But from a scientific perspective, the truth is entirely different.
We avoid pain because the brain is designed for survival. Throughout evolution, the nervous system has always prioritized one thing: Avoid danger – seek safety.
And to the brain, emotional pain is not much different from physical pain.
✿ Pain is a real biological experience
According to Jaak Panksepp, neuroscientist and founder of the field of affective neuroscience:
Jaak Panksepp – founder of affective neuroscience
Emotional pain activates the same brain regions as physical pain.
— Jaak Panksepp
This explains why rejection, loss, or relational wounds can create a very real sensation of "pain" in the body.
Pain is not just a thought. It is a comprehensive biological response.
✿ Trauma is not stored only in memory
According to Bessel van der Kolk – psychiatrist and leading trauma expert:
Bessel van der Kolk – leading expert on psychological trauma
Trauma is not only stored in the mind
but also "recorded" in the body and the nervous system.
— Bessel van der Kolk
This means you may understand that "it's all in the past" but your body still reacts as if it is happening right now.
That is why many people still get emotionally triggered even though they have tried to "get over it through reason."
✿ Why do we choose avoidance?
When facing pain, the nervous system automatically activates protective mechanisms:
Avoidance
Emotional numbing
Overreaction
According to Stephen W. Porges – professor of neuroscience and father of the Polyvagal Theory:
When the body does not feel safe, the nervous system shifts into a defensive state. Only when there is a sufficient sense of safety can we process our emotions.
— Stephen W. Porges
Therefore, avoidance is not a flaw — it is a natural protective mechanism of the body.
✿ But avoidance does not make pain disappear
Although avoidance helps us "hurt less temporarily," it does not make the pain disappear.
According to Daniel J. Siegel – psychiatrist and professor at UCLA:
Healing happens when experiences are recognized and integrated. Not when they are suppressed or ignored.
— Daniel J. Siegel
What we avoid does not vanish — it only sinks deeper and returns more powerfully when it finds an opening.
✿ From avoidance to transformation
Transformation does not begin by eliminating pain, but by staying with it in a safe way.
Through:
Awareness
Expression
Presence
Pain is gradually released and transformed into: Understanding. Inner strength. Deep resilience.
A space to practice: You don't have to walk alone
This process is not easy if you have to face it alone. That is why a safe, guided space is so important.
Community events with Master Oneness are created as exactly this kind of space — where you can:
✦ Connect with yourself in a gentle way.
✦ Experience your emotions without judgment.
✦ Begin the journey of transformation from within.
Under the guidance of Master Oneness, you don't just understand — you directly experience transformation.
COMMUNITY PRACTICE EVENT WITH MASTER ONENESS
Transforming Wounds Into Strength
| Time | Sunday, April 26, 2026 | 09:00 – 11:00 |
| Venue | Auditorium, Dao Duy Anh Secondary & High School 355 Nguyen Van Luong, Ward 12, District 6 |
| Language | English & Vietnamese |
We are not afraid of pain. We are afraid of facing it alone.
But when there is enough safety and awareness — pain is no longer a burden but becomes a doorway to connection and inner strength.
Ready For The Journey of Transformation?
Register now to receive transformative energy with Master Oneness and the Diviners community.
REGISTER NOW →References
Panksepp, J. (1998). Affective neuroscience: The foundations of human and animal emotions. Oxford University Press.
Eisenberger, N. I., & Lieberman, M. D. (2004). Why rejection hurts: A common neural alarm system for physical and social pain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 8(7), 294–300.
Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory. W. W. Norton & Company.
Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
