Do you feel your child is stubborn and unteachable? Are you feeling stuck in connecting with your child? Are you looking for the best way to help your child develop?
Remember, our children are not our property. They have chosen us to be their parents, to receive the platform we give to explore and experience this world. We need to help them open up their own life force. If we bring unconscious life to our children, we are toxic parenting, and this is not only harmful to our children, but it will also become very hard for us.
So, first of all, check if we are making the following mistakes!
1. Mistakes during pregnancy
Maternal love during pregnancy is extremely sacred. However, pregnant women often have many worries, don’t feel comfortable or happy. Therefore, when a pregnant mother watches horror movies, reads negative news, conflicts with her husband, or gossips, slanders, this is a toxic environment that changes the chemical reactions in her body and impacts the harmony between mother and the child. During this period, mothers should participate in inner space activities such as art and meditation that will be much better for both mother and child.
2. Force our child
What our children see is not what we see. We need to remind our children before going to bed, and cuddling before waking them up. It’s best not to give orders. Give our children the right to explore and understand on their own. Our job as parents is to open space for our children.
3. Compare our child with other children
Although we need to find inspiration for our children, comparison is sowing the wrong seed. Each child is unique and has a different outlook on life. We need to understand them in order to change our approach. For example, instead of comparing, suggest to our child, what do you understand by observing this person?
4. Compete who is better between mom and dad
It’s okay if we’re joking. But if it keeps repeating, this is a mistake. Children should not feel that their parents are competing with each other. For children, parents are like two eyes. In order for the children not to be confused and lost because of the difference between the father and the mother, parents need to harmonize and agree with each other in teaching their children.
5. Let children see our duplicity or dishonesty.
When we are not honest, it will not be possible to inspire honesty in our children. Be careful in what we do in front of our children. Because our child will learn through watching our actions, not words.
6. Not spend quality time with the kids
We are spending time in the same house, but each person is busy with something else, which is not quality time. Quality time means to engage directly with our children as friends.
The energy of the mother affects the children directly more than the energy of the father. The child connects directly with the mother from the womb. So when a mother is wise, it will help her child develop better. And if mother and father together spend quality time with children, it will help children have more diversity and balance in personality development.
7. Don’t let our child play with stains and overprotect them
Our children need to learn how to be in harmony with nature, they need to play with mud, with trees, with rain… This is an opportunity for them to adapt to the environment, maybe they sneeze and have a runny nose but this also helps their immune system grow.
8. Don’t let our child do housework
We fear the danger or are too protective of our children to prevent them from experiencing it. Let our children take responsibility when they are young. Letting them do the right things together will help them understand how life works and live it realistically.
9. Set expectations on our child
We often react when our children don’t live up to our expectations. We need to understand their psychology, know what we can do to support them.
10. Do trading with our children
Put our children under the following conditions: “if you do this, I will give it to you….” Motivation comes from outside, not inside, it will make our children not believe in themself. Gifts for children should not be tied to conditions. Let our child feel unconditional love.
11. Judge our children
Too often we rush to judge or scold our child when hearing a complaint about him/her from another person. When we hear bad things about our children, learn and listen from their point of view before making judgments or taking action.
12. Don’t allow our child to go somewhere alone
This can be controversial but it is important. We are worried, but learn to let our children go to a little new place to do what they want. Let’s create space for reality instead of dogma. If we are concerned, take care of our children from a distance, and let them do it on their own, allowing them to make their own decisions. Let our children experience reality, let them understand for themselves. Each child has a different source of energy, so they are good at different areas, don’t force them to be good only in school. If we force or expect our children, this will make their life meaningless. Don’t take what we lack and impose it on our children.
13. Label our children
Parents sometimes talk about their children with other people. Especially when we label our children with negative things like “lazy, stupid….”, we are shaping our thoughts on them and they will act the same. Be vigilant in every word and attitude in front of our children.
Reminders for conscious parents
- Educate ourself to have an emotional intelligence and inner alignment, then we will be able to open the space, open the energy source for our children. Don’t rush to have children just because we see cute children, we will pay the price for this act.
- Prepare ourself mentally and spiritually before we are ready to have children. Don’t have children because our parents or someone else pushes us to have, we will get in trouble.
- Don’t try to force our children into systems and expectations, let them explore and experience, especially sports and the arts.
- Watch our children for cues to understand who they are. When children play, they will also send us signals, through the way they choose toys, treat objects. Watch them closely and guess what they want. Through the way children play, we can see their energy, no matter what they are good at, let them be free to explore.
- Let them live honestly and to the fullest in every action.
- Give them trust. Trust that they will find the way for their own life.
If we have this understanding, the relationship with our children will be very harmonious. We will also help our child develop to the best of his/her ability and live a fullest life!Master Ojas Oneness & Diviners team